I was sitting with my wife the other evening, we were having dinner together,
A feeling arouse in me.
Wouw, here we are sitting together, in our house
I am with my chosen partner in this life, life is ahead of us, we are in love.
It was this feeling of, this is that moment I have been looing forward to, this is the one that all other moments lead up to
I smiled like I got caught in the moment, that she sensed the moment like I did..
Less than a minute later we were in a typical discussion about men and woman..
And for awhile again back in silence, this time the silence was completely different..
I realized in that moment, I had reached my limit of how good I could possibly allow myself to feel, and how much love I can accept, and something inside of me went to sabotage it..
Wouw, what a fucking wakeup call!
A cascade of memories and thoughts rained over me
How that when I am holding back, I.g ‘avoiding her kiss, embrace’ or ‘I am too tired for sex’
Or even the small discussions about who does what
Its my self created limit
That seeks homeostasis
Its like it says.. ‘ NOPE!! THINGS CAN’T BE THIS GOOD!’
Better tone it back down to where we feel safe and comfortable
It was a magical moment of realisation
i’ve done a fair bit of work on myself, usually I find that changing a pattern can be quite difficult
But that moment was transmission, I have found that I catch myself in my retraction..
And I am able to ask myself, ‘Have I just reached my limit of how much love I am able to accept?’
And right now, I think the answer is always yes, and then…
Open into love again..
I would love to hear from you, have you encountered your limit in love?
Do you know when a part of you ‘needs’ to get things to the ground again because it's going away from your comfort zone?
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