Practice moment to moment

I got to admit, it is not the first time..

I have been sitting with the ‘realization’if you will, that practice (Sadhana) is moment to moment

and not just done in the morning before the real day starts

If you have been following for a while,

you should have the sense that I am a big fan of morning practice, and have had my own for +13 years now.

It is invaluable for me, and has lead me to a nervous system capacity that I am proud of carrying, as well a confidence in my own being.

But practice cant only be 30minutes to an hour a day, there is simply to much that pulls in another direction

Life happening mixed with 30-40 years of drilling other habits into solid groves of behavior

Practice must be taken of the matt and into life.

This idea is simple, but not fucking easy to do

It is effort..

Closing and numbing out to autopilot just feels like the easy choice

Being active in life, leaning into life isn't,

Its a constant gesturing towards something new, and that is scary as fuck..

Another reason is that it takes awareness to open,

It takes awareness to recognize pattern, awareness to be aware that my breath is shallow, that my belly is contracted,

that I am munching away on the same thoughts

It is a choice of constant (re-) awakening that is needed to do any kind of opening.

And that choice is only made when/if the pain of not becomes to big for us to keep going.

Of not loving as fully as we know we can

Of not pressing our gift into the world in the way we sense that we could

Of giving into fear again and again

and not living as intensely as we wish..

Not by any others standards but because there is a intuitive hit that we could live life more full

There is a part of us that knows we can do more, (in all of us..)

That feeling is a moment to moment invitation to open more,

to lean towards our edge just a tad bit more

Perhaps sometimes all out,

sometimes one percent more,

and sometimes completely contracting back into our hole stuffing our face with cookies and collapsing into a Netflix binge

All good, no problem If..

Awareness is there, that ‘I just need to take a fucking break right now’

That is wonderful practice! It is just awareness being aware of ourselves and that is a celebration

Every moment where awareness is aware of our behaviour, is a celebration, is practice, is sadhana

And that is Practice moment to moment

Moment to moment is you being of the ‘hook’ in an instant,

no where to be but this breath,

no where to go but a little more softening in the belly

And you can do this in every moment

Even as you read this..

Becoming more receptive to life

Feeling more

Less numb, more alive

Just a little bit at a time, and then..

Back to collapse, but aware of collapse

So still in practice, still opening

A little deeper, and yes it is scary brother, I feel it to

So anchoring yourself into what you hold as truth

Letting yourself be supported,

Perhaps by other men

Perhaps by music

By talks of teachers

Finding what works for you